Hi Wendy!

If you sometimes find it difficult to make conversation with others - especially strangers - here are 4 tips that will put you more at ease:

1.  Be fully engaged – Being fully engaged involves incorporating these powerful communication skills:

• Be genuinely interested – When you are interested in people, they know it. Good conversationalists show their interest by focusing their attention on the person they are talking to. They make solid eye contact, they nod in understanding, make short affirming comments, they do not interrupt, and they do not allow their attention to be diverted with distractions.
• Actively listen – Active listening skills include paying close attention to what is being said by the speaker and not thinking about what you are going to say next. Paraphrasing back what you heard, and asking clarifying questions are effective techniques to ensure that you understand what the speaker has said.

2.  Don’t tell. Ask.  – So you don’t have to feel the pressure of carrying the conversation by talking about yourself, ask questions instead.  By asking questions of the person you are speaking with, it shows your interest and engages them further in the conversation.  Close-ended questions are answered with a simple “yes” or “no” response.  Therefore, ask open-ended questions which usually start with “What” and “How”.  Open-ended questions require that the speaker share more about the topic, and often leads to stimulating and thought-provoking conversation.

 3.  F.O.R.I.M. keeps the conversation alive - A surefire way to keep the conversation going is to ask open-ended questions about the subject that matters most to the person you are talking to  – themselves.  Use this simple formula to keep a conversation flowing  - F.O.R.I.M  - Family, Occupation, Recreation, Interests, and Message.  You can ask many questions in these areas that include inquiring about their spouse and children, hobbies, passions, interests, sports, type of work, where they live and more. 

Once you master asking open-ended questions using F-O-R-I, you can use the “M” (Message) to close your conversation.  You might say something like, “It was wonderful chatting with you, do you have a business card?”, “I’d love to get together some time, would you like to do that?” or simply, “It was great to talk with you, good luck with your business.”

A strong close makes you and the other person feel that your encounter came full circle to a satisfying completion.

4.  Know when to bring the conversation to an end - Even the best conversations will eventually come to a natural end or be ended by an interruption. Notice the cues of the other person such as them looking at their watch, restless body language, lulls, or their attention being diverted.  At that point, give them your “M” (your Message from #3), and end on a positive note.

With Love.... and Remembering the Way of Truth,

Wendy

Wendy Spurgeon, Certified Integrative Life Coach
Global Sisterhood Facilitator & Full Moon Webinar Hostess with the Mostest!
BreakthroughShadow@gmail.com
and the rest of The Way of Truth Team!

P.S.....Come to my no-cost online workshop on winning friends and influencing people with effective communication. 

Sunday, November 17th @ 7:00 pm MST

Registration and Worksheets HERE

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